Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Without A Doubt, My Life is Coming to an End

     For my first English assignment of senior year, our teacher asked us what we knew for sure. Initially I had no clue. So, I asked my parents and while my mother gave a comical answer, my father gave a practical one, death. So the next night I called him up and told him I was taking his idea and he questioned if writing an essay on death would be too morbid for an Expository writing class. Hmm, you be the judge..... (As a side-note, there were originally four paragraphs but I thought the second one was too wordy, and the essay worked fine without it. If your ever interested in seeing the rest, just leave a comment(:)

     Born into a world enveloped by the venomous sins times seven. We obliterate ourselves by participating in wrathful behavior, greed incorporating its way into our major veins. We become slothen as the years proceed, waiting for our bodies to demise. Prideful are the ones who relentlessly work but refuse to avail the ill willed, lust causing prolonged pained, with momentous pleasure. We become green when we look towards our neighbors with emulous eyes, and we begin to think with our stomachs, torturing our bodies, curtailing our lives. Yes, humans are innately sinful. We are our own short-comings. Alas, it is impossible to live a life without succumbing to the ill-will of the devil. Years of venality will eventually lead to our quietus. Death is the one thing in life that is for certain.

       In precedence, although written down somewhere in a classified book, are the dates of our guaranteed deaths, there may be times when we are near the thresholds of our eternity and just barely abscond with our being intact. Probably one of the most frightening, miraculous, and humbling experiences of my life, did not even happen to me. It was a chilly fall day in 2005. My sister who is four years my senior, got off of her bulky middle school bus and unlocked the portal of what could have been the last day of her thirteen year old life. Fatigue struck her tiny body as if she hadn't slept in years. So much so, that she ignored the peculiar smell encompassing our home, and dozed off almost immediately. About 15 miles down the road, our mother was on her way from a grueling day at work to finish out her day at the bank before its doors closed. At the back of her mind though, she felt as if someone was gravitating her away from the bank and towards her home. Without a rhyme or reason she turned her 1997 silver Toyota Camry around and went back to our place of dwelling. Fast-forward ninety minutes and it's my turn to walk up our jarring driveway. As I make my way off of the mustard yellow bus, I see my sister waiting for me with a flushed look on her face. She walks me towards our neighbors house and explains it all to my callow mind. Our gas tank had sprung a leak and had been releasing toxic fumes into our home. Had it not been for my mothers unconscious feelings of impending doom, my sister would have been dead within the hour. When you experience a moment like this, it forces you to take a step back and realize how we are at the brink of deaths every single day of our lives. We do not know the day, not even the year of our ultimate ending. All we know is that each and every one of our spirits will transcend from our bodies, and from there we can only hypothesize what will happen next. From this event I've learned to cherish the people I love, for it will never be the money nor the potential successes I may accumulate in life, it is the people that matter. Our expiration from this world is impending, for that I am sure. What I will do on this Earth to leave my mark, is what I am uncertain of.

       In cessation, if I had to pinpoint one thing in life that I knew for sure, It would be that I am going to die. This summer, my mother attended three funerals, one for a woman in her thirties, one in her early fifties, and a man that was nearing ninety. What this says to me is that death may come at anytime! This may be the last essay I write or I may be writing essays for the next eighty years. We as human beings are incapable of knowing what our final moments will be. In some ways it is a tormenting curse and in others a blessing. The fact that we do know that there will be a final curtain call one day, should motivate us to live our lives to the fullest. We should try to stray ourselves from the evils of earthly desires. We should live for the ones we love, and the ones who love us. For one day, there will be no tomorrow. All we will have are our yesterdays.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Goldwyn

So, this summer I fell in love with ABC's Scandal. I think Tony Goldwyn as President Fitzgerald Grant is completely and utterly gorgeous. This inspired me to write a poem of why falling in love with an older man would be better than loving a younger man. So, here goes nothing....

Wisdom coursing his every beat,
Beauty from his inner,
Shining on his outer,
Daunting in size,
Yet affable by nature,
Wisps of gray swindle it's way into his coif,
This subtle detail, fine tunes his sexy,
Making me all the more Daintree in his presence,
A creased visage,
reinforces his intellect.
So suave is my vanilla sky,
inhaling my scent.
His voice, deep as cherry oak,
invades my vicinity,
making it difficult to think,
promising to make it formidable for me to walk.
A geriatric man,
is a man with ease
A geriatric man,
isn't hard to please.
Skilled are his fingers,
daint is his touch,
pointed are his words,
is that asking too much?
Sexy in style,
classy with grace.
Yes my old man can bring me to my knees,
For my old man, is a man indeed.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Killing Me Softly

"Pain enveloping my inner,
Grief entering my outer.
The notion of life without my other, is a life I'd hesitate to live"

Blissful and beautiful were we,
Young and naive.
We thought love could get us through the worst,
we thought love could make it last.
When the ill times came,
We weren't prepared to cope.
When the devil left Pandora's box at our doorsteps,
you reached in and were engulfed by temptation.
There was a time when love was enough. Is it still?
What is right in our minds,
may not be right in our hearts.
What once was heart-clenching, mind numbing love,
you excuse as an ecstasy induced phase.
Blinded are you by the evils of the world.
So easy is it to let the devil in,
But in time you'll want him out, you will need him out to keep your life, or what little existence remains.
When you are ready to give in to the will of the Lord,
after being dead for so many years,
You'll find yourself among the elderly, weak and frail.
You'll find yourself by yourself, alone and isolated.
For all those years you've spent in the dark, has left you dim.
Ignorant to the tearful pleas of those who loved you,
Or who loved who you once were.
Their voices have tired,
their defenses, have weakened.
They had to leave,
Better one dead than two.
For when you kill yourself with the evils of the world,
You are bludgeoning the ones around you as well.

I wrote this in the perspective of a woman who has been cheated on way too long. She loves her husband, but she now realizes that there comes a point where you have to start living for yourself again. She understands that if she continues to stay in this poisoned relationship, with this treacherous man, her soul will die before her body.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Will I Ever Be Enough?

I said "I love you",
Why won't you listen?
I cried, "I love you",
downstairs in the kitchen.
I screamed, "I love you",
You reply, "Shut the Fuck Up",
You beat me down,
I crawl back up,
You spit on me,
It turns to dust,
I said, "I love you",
You reply, "Give it up".

Our Love is a Burning Fire in the Rain

Chocolate kiss,
Chocolate love,
Chocolate lust.
You stay on my mind,
You've left a dent im my lobe,
I can't stop thinking, I won't stop thinking,
Thinking of what is,
Wondering what could be.
I love you, I want you, I need you, I breathe you,
When I am away, I do not hesitate to shed tears,
You're so sweet, my chocolate mystery
You are strong, I am weak.
Chocolate kiss,
Chocolate love,
Chocolate lust.
You're hugs are like kryptonite,
They power my day.
So warm in your arms, it's where I need to stay.
Shelter me baby, from the dangers of the night,
When you speak, I break,
Your voice so smooth,
When you touch, I melt,
Your kiss so soft,
My heart is cold,
You are my furnace.
I love you, I want you, I need you, I breathe you,
Falling into your arms,
Falling into your love,
My hand brushes your hair,
Your hand caresses my leg,
Our eyes intertwine,
My lips tickle your cheek, 
So warm, so warm, how are you so warm,
I open my eyes and there you aren't,
Melted on the floor.
An apparition, a blur, a lie, a tale.
My chocolate kiss,
My chocolate love,
My chocolate lust,
Dead in the night, gone from sight.....

I wrote this after listening to the song 'Just My Imagination' by The Temptations. It's about unrequited love. Loving someone so much, that you begin to trick your mind to think that one day they may love you back, but in the end it's not true. They never will. It's a pipe dream, a fantasy, just your imagination.