Feather

Take a deep breath....
Do you feel that?
You are alive, but are you living ?
You are conscious, but are you aware?
Is someone in there?
Death is a word filled with negativity, violence, and hate.
Death is cold.
Death is silent.
Death is freedom.
If you are like me, if you are like some,
You see the light, you see the promise,
The promise to an end.
An end to all fear, an end to all pain.
The finale of a journey,
A story yet to be told.
If you are like me, if you are like some,
You can't take no more, you don't want no more.
Your eyes burn with unshed tears,
Your arms sting, from the battle-wounds of your torment.
You are ready to give up.
You don't have enough.
You've given all you've got.
Bring me to the light.
Dead so long, I have been dead so long.
If you are like me, if you are like some,
You don't want to die, but
You don't want to live.
You just want to be numb,
Death is numb.
You just want the misery to go away,
Death is without misery.
You just want to be loved,
With death, what is love, love will cease to exist,
And so will I.
This feels so smooth, sliding down my throat,
Is ten enough?
No, it seduces me to twenty.
My brain turns to fuzz,
My mind is mush.
Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I am free at last. 
Five minutes down, two to go.
Life,
What was life?
I wasn't living, I was existing.
Death was already within me, it just needed a push,
A release.
In this last minute, I breathe.
I see....a future,
Now beyond reach.
I see a CEO, proud, black, and a woman.
I see a mother to two beautiful children.
I see a husband, supportive, kind, and caring.

At the time, life meant nothing.
If you are not like me, if you are not like some,
If you would have waited,
You would have seen, that pain is temporary,
Those melancholy feelings will die, Giving you the chance to live.
If you are like me, if you are like some,
Will you wonder who will find you,
In those final moments of life?
A mother, a brother, a sister, or a friend?
As my eyes come to a close, I hear, her screaming a name,
A name, I think, once belonged to me.
I can't tell if I'm drifting up,
Or if I'm drifting down,
But I am definitely drifting.

For colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf,
Don't.
Death is inevitable, death will come,
But life,
Life is but a moment,
In the spectrum, we call time.

My Struggle

Tempted by curiosity  were the ones who brought evil within this world,
Tempted by greed was the one, who betrayed the Messiah,
Lust tempted David as he watched her bathe,
Glutinous temptation, coursed through the eighth Henry's veins,
And murderous  temptation arose in Cain, because the jealousy stung to much.
We see throughout history,
That giving in to our temptations will direct us towards a negative path.
A few moments of submitting to our earthly desires,
Will give us nothing but heartache and misery.
To ease that pain, we repeat,
To forget the despair,
and relive the thrill,
It becomes a never ending cycle,
An addiction at best.
Sin is so easy. Pure is so hard.
We can hide our sins in a warm black sheet.
If we wear white they will show, revealing our torment, our weaknesses.  Always remember, what's done in the shadows of the night,
Will always reveal itself in the ablaze of day,
If not now, then later........